Most people share a common self-assessment, that they are
basically good. We strive for the
title of being considered a mensch, and many would hold that it is the value that trumps
all others.
But how does one earn the noble title?
Ordinarily it is by purely doing good deeds for, to or on
behalf of others. The more altruistic
the deed, the nobler the doer. The more
anonymous the performer, the more pious the character.
This mindset has to change.
Selfless good deeds need to be replaced by conditional
assistance. An offer of free-help needs to be replaced by indebtedness.
But the debt is not owed to you, it’s owed to society!
People live with a paradigm that may have been historically
true, but it has lost its relevance in modernity. It is natural and rational to
expect that kindness be both graciously received
with a sense of gratitude. We often hope that the recipient of that kindness
also feels a natural need to be similarly kind to others. “If I am kind to you,
you’ll be kind to others” goes the logic.
This is both idealistic and unrealistic.
People may intrinsically want to help others and share the
kindness, but the self-absorbed nature of modern man usually denies him doing
so. We have become so disillusioned that it has become sufficient if the kindness
is merely acknowledged.
What society needs is a sense of obligatory responsibility
towards the greater good.
How is this done?
By making people translate the benefits that have received
from the society into a quantifiable, or at least qualifiable, debt that needs
to be repaid.
We need to attach strings to our favours. Gone are the days
of altruistic kindness; nowadays every random act of kind comes with baggage
and a price tag- the price is the obligation to pay it forward.
The next time you help someone out- when they do thank you
for your efforts- DO NOT say “You’re welcome”!
By letting people ‘off’ easily, we relegate an opportunity
that was there to impact the world as merely an isolated deed- to be forgotten
in the passage of time.
Instead of “You’re welcome” now say “I am glad that I could
help you, but you have to promise me to ‘Pay it forward’ ”. “Quantify the help
I gave you; put a dollar figure on it and find someone to give it to. “
Even better, make it a condition to helping them in the
first place.
This seemingly trivial condition creates a joint vision and
a potential movement towards making a real change in the world. My act of
kindness lives on beyond the initial deed, not because of natural reciprocity
and appreciation, but rather because of my having demanding that people make a
difference in the world.
